Land Ho!

The Lazarette
A Stern Publication.

Land Ho!

Tuesday August 27 at 3 PM Newfoundland time Tioga spotted Great Skellig Island ten miles off. Kudos to our intrepid Capitan for bringing the crew so far and so fast.

We’re going to put in at a small harbor close to Fastnet Rock and grab a mooring for a few hours. We’ll then head out to see the Rock before heading to Kinsale for customs. What a journey! Stand by your cellphone.

A note to a certain reader. Our dedicated reader and regular Tioga crew member Peter Barba submitted the following letter:

I read with great enjoyment the recent installment of the Lazarette – The Need For Speed. I know how the Captain and Ulf are competitive and can see Amy as competitive as well. My guess is one of Ulf’s protests must have been that he was not allowed to “ put out the Blister” or at least increase the sails to suit his personal needs. And why is he Ulf “Son of Ulf”. Shouldn’t he be Ulf “son of Rosemarie” or “Father of Jasper” or “Father of Max” which is actually pretty cool sounding. And what’s the story behind Bunk Nomad Ledyard – are you all not Bunk Nomads? And King Philip – you anointed him King? Dan Mcmackin and I are a little concerned with the brown nosing going on – we suspect it is to gain favor for chances at future sailing legs aboard Tioga. Serving the Captain breakfast in bed and anointing him king will only go so far. When the $#,% hits the fan! Which one of you will climb in the hole and have the ability to fix the hydro generator controller or figure out when there is water in the exhaust clogging it up like a banana in your tail pipe. The Captain is a pretty smart guy and we’re sure he sees through your thinly veiled attempts at locking up a place on his next adventure. You need to do it the old fashioned way – bribe him with cash. Dan’s got a fist full of dollars to reserve our spots. Dan and I are watching closely!
And my wife asked why was Ellen not given a time at the wheel in this speed contest – We think she could have been a Contenda!
Im thinking (what are you thinking about) with the liberal state of humanity today, you may want to make everyone happy by awarding prizes so that everyone wins. Dapper DAVE would get overall winner, King (huh) Philip would be fastest Captain. Bunk Nomad Ledyard could be …well fastest Bunk Nomad. Chef Amy could be fastest female ( oh wait that is brining gender in and I think that is a no no today) so I guess Fastest Chef and Ellen could be Fastest while wearing perfect lipstick!
Lastly – quite an ETMAL but not quite the record – good effort buddy, keep trying!

Oh, and my wife Pretty Linda, passed along that on the Ireland Scotland Leg, King (huh) Captain Philip told her she had steered Tioga to the fastest she had ever been, too bad Pretty Linda can’t remember what that speed was

Hope you enjoy my email – heck I need something to do while I WAIT MY TURN FOR THE NEXT LEG! Oh that would be FIRST in line – right Captain King Philip? And What would you like for breakfast on the first day?

Safe Sailing

We felt it only proper to address Peter’s concerns further below in a note from Ledyard (Bunk Nomad and New Guy)

Dear Peter,

It is so funny that you mention “the hole.” I was just working in there yesterday to install the new water maker that I brought along as a gift for Tioga. It should be a real upgrade for next season’s crew, whoever that might be. I am sure you will be included, although it is odd how incessantly Philip is seeking a place in our luggage for your boots.

Please tell Pretty Linda that her 11.3 record stands under normal conditions. Top speeds made this year probably have to do with the upgrades Philip and I have been making to the standing rigging while underway.

Regarding bunk nomad status, I was able to fix all the leaks in the deck except for the one over the starboard bunk. It happens to be my bunk since Ulf saved it for me. How nice of him. So I am the only one forced to travel. (It’s great to have all these things taken care of before we put her to bed for the winter.) Happy to take off your list.

So nothing to worry about. Although Philip keeps asking me about my schedule next summer, I’m sure it’s nothing. You know how chit chatty he can be. And if it doesn’t work out, you can always go sailing with Dan as long as you bring the Fireball.


The New Guy

2 thoughts on “Land Ho!

  1. Ohhhhh geez Boyz will be Boyz!!!! I’m glad you all made it safely and sounds like you had a fabulous time!!⛵⛵⛵⛵


  2. Hello crew of Tioga! Congratulations for a good journey! I’m happy you are all safe and obviously still a bit crazy! 😉

    And of course Dapper Dave would win your overall “award” he has saltwater in his veins and has been known to walk on water (his friends swear it!!)! I can’t wait to hear the stories he tells me about all of you!

    Mrs Dapper Dave ⛵


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