The Tioga Daily News

All the news that fits in the Lazarette

First, a matter of copyright. The Tioga Daily News editorial board has decided that to keep up with the times (pun intended) our publication’s name will be reduced to “The Lazarette” A Stern Publication

Now that we have complied with the legal team’s instructions, let’s pull in the daily bucket of news.

First a hardy thanks to all those who replied to our research questions. We were overwhelmed by the hundreds of responses and Captain Philip was forced to cut of the Iridium download due to the general austerity gestalt that is the Tioga boat culture. ( Past crew will know what this means.). Thank you for your erudite responses and we regret only having room to acknowledge a few pithy responses.

Thank you Sharon. Your insightful questions to our question : I think the real question is why is an island of ice called Greenland and a beautiful green island called Iceland??? Were the Vikings drinking too much ale during those days?

However Sharon, who FYI is Dapper Dave’s girlfriend, we want to let you know that Dave is making us his grilled cheese and ham but still you better.

Dear John.com,
It is always a pleasure to hear from a gentleman and a scholar. Your wisdom regarding nasal musicality is so profound that we can do nothing less than quote you unabridged

We now know that fish sleep, and what fish sleep is, the next question that you may wonder about is, do fish snore ? The answer, though based on preliminary scientific findings is that, yes, they do. There is a growing body of evidence that the resonant frequencies of simultaneous and synchronized fish snoring is the cause of over 50 % of the aquatic wave force dynamics in the worlds oceans. The cumulative slumburnal vibrational force of minnows, whales, dolphins, sharks, octopi and even squid, results In wave patterns, heights, and periods that are directly related to such aquatic output. Also, there is also convincing evidence that human snoring propagating from transatlantic sailing vessels can induce and amplify the “fish snoring’” that happens below the ocean’s surface

And finally, Peter Barba, we want to address your insightful inquiry:
Is Ulf still performing the Fosbury Flop to get into the pilot berth? and has he stepped on anyone while getting in?

It’s an excellent question, but somewhat out of date. Ulf has begun his migratory phase. There have been multiple bunk sightings: he appears to be frequenting the V berth, which was temporarily Ellen’s girl cave until Ulf placed a bag of garbage there under the pretense of being a helpful crew member. “Just doing my part to clean up” he said with a smirk. He has also been spotted in Capt. Philip’s bunk. We are tracking the migratory course in our continued efforts to unravel the mystery of the Ulf behavior patterns.

Also Dave says we’ll see who the last man standing is.

Today has been a tiny bit wet, including wine in the cabin while Ulf and Philip steered under a deluge. We continue to make excellent progress, perhaps our biggest day yet. We are now past the one third mark and should be half way tomorrow. All well here on Tioga in the warmth of the galley. Chef Amy is preparing tenderloin.

Keep writing us. And so glad that Greenland remains part of Denmark (Let them deal with it)

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3 thoughts on “The Tioga Daily News

  1. David’s birthday is the 23rd, make sure he has a “fun” one 😉. tell him the dog says “woof” (come home soon, mama doesn’t do 2 hour walks like daddy does)

    Thank you for this wonderful blog & photos!! 🐳

    Like

  2. A very happy birthday wish goes to Davy today. Glad you had the chance to spend this day doing what you love best.

    Like

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